Of iOS Updates and Anniversaries – A Zeitgeist

Around this time of the year, when it is spring in the Northern Hemisphere and a Kiwi is making news in the other, anniversaries and iOS updates are having the time of their lives.

Minutes before I began writing this, I received an iOS 8.2 update for my iPad. This is remarkable because it has been roughly one year since I stopped blogging (due to an iOS update). Nevertheless, my dear reader, you needn’t be alarmed at a possible déjà vu, because I have gotten over updates – in general.

Another remarkable happening that will be happening in the next few days is the first anniversary of my blog post on Projinism. This year, the biggest update to the religion is that instead of it being a stand-alone religion, I am changing it into more of an add-on to other existing religions – which means now, you don’t have to choose between the two :). You’re welcome.

And about running – I have stopped running keeping in mind the environmental impact that it could have, given that 5% of exhaled breath contains water vapor, and water vapor makes up over 60% of the greenhouse gases composition. Speaking of global warming, I strongly suggest you to read this book – An Appeal To Reason – A Cool Look At Global Warming (http://www.amazon.com/AN-Appeal-Reason-Global-Warming/dp/159020252X).

If you are too lazy or don’t have a credit card, the summary of it is that global warming, as it is presented to us by our respective governments and our respective school textbooks, is bullshit. We have no absolute and reliable source of information that can prove that global temperatures are rising due to the Greenhouse Effect, and not because of a temporary effect caused by, say, the sun (I’m not bullshitting. Go read the book; it also comes with 234 other reasons why it’s not entirely true.). Also, if we closely inspect how global warming actually became a global issue, it all began with the IPCC First Assessment Report. The problem with IPCC was that it had a monopoly over the statistical and scientific data supplied to governments around the world, and therefore, the complete autonomy in freaking out world leaders (like Tony Blair).

My fingers are tired from topic-hopping, and I guess I’ll rest for an year now.

If you’re wondering, after all this, as to why I am writing a Zeitgeist in March, it’s Ugadi!! So, ಯುಗಾದಿ ಹಬ್ಬದ ಶುಭಾಷಯಗಳು!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugadi)

Greetings, my fellow Projinist

I was killing ants in my garden when I suddenly remembered the Jain preachings that taught that man has no right to kill an animal. That is when I began wondering…

Who declares rights? Is it ethical to suppress your rights voluntarily under some condition, or to let another subject violate it when you could have prevented it? At first instance, the answer is obviously affirmative, because rights, after all, are meant to secure a person’s being, but if the person does not want it, I believe that he or she has the right to curb his or her rights. The ultimate right is the right to curb your own rights, lest it should turn into a “rightful dictatorship”.

I thought – what if every ants’ goal in life is to die? I mean, they really have no way to kill themselves. So, I am here to absolve the ant from its suffering. Now, that argument is absolutely ridiculous just because we, humans want to live. That does not give us the right to draw an analogy or any sort of comparison with the life of an ant. While biologists may argue that ants running away from peril is clearly a sign of the willingness to live, I believe that the fleeing is a result of evolution. I mean most of the time, an ant that does get stuck in peril, ends up getting half killed and stays so for a long time (believe me, not even ants wish to suffer). This is the reason why ants run away from all sorts of peril that seem trivial to them – not dangerous enough to completely kill them.

The only inference I can draw from the previous paragraph is that ants believe that humans are not the best source of peril. They are pitiful, yet ruthless. Ants want a inhumane being to absolve them of their troubles.

If I were to invent a religion, it would require people to stomp their way through instead of walking. Most importantly, it would ban ballerinas. Ants are much more likely to be 100% killed by a freestyle dancer than a graceful ballerina. My religion is an advanced form of Jainism. It is “ProJinism” (without the uppercase ‘J’, obviously). Let’s call its followers “Projinists” or “Projinites” (can be used interchangeable).

Let’s recap what we’ve learnt so far. To do so, my fellow Projinite, I introduce you to a Projinite ballerina. KILL HER!!!!

Humour aside, we shall define some more rules for this religion of ours.

I Am A Fisherman

I am a fisherman.
Salt is my sugar, salt is my malt

I fear men who sleep, and wake aloof
Beneath the moon I lie,
‘waiting the summer tide
Whose snug wave I pray
Mackerel my chills away

I am a fisherman.
Knees wet, yet ankles dry
Wings of lace that pry too high,
Upon the white gulls I parlay,
The Lord’s herring me pray


How Fermat and Wiles made my feet warm

As I described earlier in my “Anti-Moore’s Law” theory, the ability to discover radically new things decrease exponentially with time; and I couldn’t find a better example for this than mathematics.

Given the amount of time mathematics has been around and the number of people who have been working on it all this while, it is unsurprisingly the subject where the least number of discoveries are being made. Now this fact itself is enough to give anyone cold feet and deter them in their pursuit of a career in mathematical research.

Fermat was a man who was lucky enough to be born in a more primitive stage of mathematics than I. His footnotes and side notes and notes (and I don’t know what else) baffled many a mathematician for many a century.

The last one surviving was, not so surprisingly, named as Fermat’s Last Theorem. For those of you who are not familiar with what it is, it states that there are no integral solutions to the equation
a^n + b^n = c^n
for n > 2.

The beauty of this theorem is that understanding it is so simple that a boy named Andrew Wiles fantasised about solving this problem when he was ten years old. The complexity of it is such that a university professor named Andrew Wiles took over twenty years to prove it.

This is what gives me hope. The fact that seemingly impossible tasks can be solved using the Taniyama – Shimura conjecture gives me hope. The hope that one day I shall be that mathematician who shall have the power to prove what I believe is true, however long that might take.

I don’t wish for a Nobel Prize, because, first of all, we don’t have a Nobel for math, and second of all, the sheer pleasure of the fruit of your work in front of your eyes is more satisfying than winning one. Perhaps, I’ll settle for an igNobel Prize.


Thinking my way to The Truth

Not everyone thinks.

Most of us who do usually think about the known, and the unknown is reserved for the hours of sleep, which, most of us do not care to remember. Most of us who can remember discard it as a sheer source of amusement that is to be pondered upon for not beyond the morning coffee.

It is absolutely logical to admit that the intelligence of every following generation has been decreasing, and the relatively large leaps in discoveries and inventions are a thing of the past. Any future discoveries are merely a product of our increased knowledge and resources, but not intelligence.

This is something I would like to call the anti-Moore’s law of the human brain. Its thinking capacity reduces over time. Nevertheless, that is not the objective of this post. This is something we all tacitly agree with (of course, shamelessly). The real purpose of this post was to reflect upon my idea, (rather “the idea”) that everything that mankind has known to date can be achieved my mere thinking.

Although this idea might seem far fetched, or even ridiculous, a dreg of thinking (yes, I feel even this notion can be derived from thinking) might lead you to the same result. 

iOS 7 is released and I am too impatient to complete the article.



I am being chased by a whole army. A hijacked airplane – guns – bullets and me.

Oh, and this is happening right in my house. Then, I escape – run out right under the nose of my pursuers. I go to a familiar street (a street from another dream), still being chased by a man in an auto. I manage to evade him, and get the help of an old lady (she helps me because I am on the developer team of Siri 3.0)!

I end up in BEL Circle, and then in another place from another dream.

A voice in me tells me to run to America, but I run back to my house, into my own grave. I should say, those people were so surprised by my daringness, that they believed whatever I said (this happened in my room). I remember saying something about the Taliban. Yes, I managed to convince them!

It’s already Friday! It was about 8 (or was it 9) – the first day I woke up late. Its depressing that no one’s playing lately. I just hope the trend doesn’t get contagious. First thing in the morning – Android developing! It guess I started late, but no worries! Not much progress today.

Just an off side remark – I hate these long awesome days, there’s so much to write. And then there’s that “Oh yeah!” moment, when you remember something more.

The Kite Runner is truly amazing – Afghans are wicked cool. It’s a really good book, not much stereotypes.

Vamos should have come home, I went instead. We played carom, I lost; we played cricket, I lost. Off to peacock reserve. (Did I get the Vamsi syndrome? It is hard to spell peacock).

That ride was fast. At 80 kmph, my fastest and most fuel consuming ride came to an end at the entrance. It’s a goddamn forest with no people for light years. Kinda bumpy ride inside, but what a place! Returned home, played with Basavraj and his newfound anonymous cousin. Remember to keep your arms apart when taking the run up.

Well, I’m back home, reading the kite runner, defeating mom at carom, and writing diary notes.

Signing off,

Everyone! Pause the madness!

Electronic overload

As a consumer, I believe I have the right to call this overflow of the mobile device market ‘a madness’. Since about a month, I’ve been waking up to a new device every morning.

This guerilla warfare on the consumers with new operating systems, new devices  (and drop tests), new technology, new patents, new lawsuits needs to be stopped.

Apple customers got enraged when the company released an iPad 4 just when the former had finished digesting its predecessor – the iPad 3. Apple had to apologize for their action.

HTC, Nokia and Samsung don’t seem to be learning from Apple’s mistakes, but they will – sooner or later. Nokia’s Lumia series already has over ten models, while HTC has over two hundred phones in its kitty. I refuse to comment on Samsung (because I don’t understand if it’s a phone or a tablet they’re selling), but they have 61 devices in their Galaxy series alone.

The overwhelming number of Android phones is plain disgusting. Do you remember the Samsung Galazy S II Skyrocket HD? If you do, it’s probably because it’s big dumb name is so unthinkably big and dumb.

The funny part is, this whole thing is a paradox, akin to a nuclear war where no one manufacturer can be blamed. You are left with no other alternative but to follow suit when your rival is armed with a series of new devices. Therefore, I appeal to everyone – every smartphone manufacturer (the same goes for tablets) to pause for a moment, let technology evolve over time, and feed the consumer smartly (and slowly).